Au Naturale...

Sooooo...I'm on Twitter right...and I see one of my followers (@ThePrettyMD) who's tweets I enjoy reading, mention something about natural hair.

Here's the series of tweets


@ThePrettyMD: So I've decided that in 2011 I'm rocking my natural hair 99% of the time..straightening it should be a rare event. Easier said than done.

@ThePrettyMD: Well I hadn't considered job interviews, professional events/photos etc. I ALWAYS straighten my hair for that stuff!

@ThePrettyMD: I guess I just feel more confident with it straight. *shrug* Well today my class for my masters program will take our graduation composite

@ThePrettyMD: I didn't straighten it. I'm wearing it curly and pinned back...and I think it's pretty fab. I'll take some pix when I get a break

@ThePrettyMD: I admittedly don't feel AS confident as I think I would w/ it straight & we gotta see how the pix turn out, but this is what it's about..

@ThePrettyMD: It's just sad that it has taken me years to get comfortable w/ my natural hair! I mean..it's NATURAL! What God gave me! Shouldn't be so hard


So, later on she tweets some pics of her with her natural hair pinned back and I am absolutely amazed...and confused.

This woman is absolutely gorgeous with her hair like this and she's admittedly uncomfortable with the way it looks.

Granted, she's probably just as gorgeous with her hair straightened because she's a naturally beautiful woman, but her natural hair is truly beautiful and...I didn't get it...

Then again, I did...

More after the break...













Here's a little tidbit about me...I've ALWAYS had a thing for women with natural hair...

I've really just always thought it was beautiful. Sistas with locs, afros, and simple natural hairstyles just flat out "do it" for me.

I remember when I first met "Ms. Jackson"...

It was 2004 and I was in Tuskegee visiting one of my homies outside of OD, a women's dorm on campus. "Runway de Jesus" and I are standing outside acting stupid, flirting with the ladies that passed by, you know...the usual.

Out of the corner of my eye I see a group of sistas walk out from behind a nearby building. They're laughing, joking, and having a general good time. One of them is dressed in all black, with a shawl on, and this absolutely beautiful brown afro that accentuated her light skin tone...

I think I stopped mid-sentence to stare at her...

Me being the brotha that I am, I looked for a way to introduce myself. Luckily, I knew one of the females in the group from my time kicking it down there for homecoming. I yell out to her and they make their way over....

Instant attraction. Almost magnetic. We talked into the wee hours of the morning. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced.

We're still friends. She's a counselor, poet, and all around good sista...

I also remember meeting "Delilah" and watching her transform from a fun sista with straightened hair and an awesome mixture of sophistication and hood sensibilities, to a strong sista with natural hair and a mind focused on helping others.

I guess I said that to say, my personal attraction to sistas with natural hair was always a mixture of physical and mental. Physically, I love the way natural hair looks, feels, and (when properly taken care of) even smells. Mentally, natural sistas represent a certain level of comfort with themselves and dedication to themselves that I admire.

Like Andre 3000, I'm not taking the choice to "go natural" as a face value implication of "higher consciousness" or the choice to succumb to the allure of the "creamy crack" as a statement of "superficiality". Not at all. I'm just telling you why its my personal preference...

Some of ya'll missed that Andre 3000 reference...if so listen to Aquemini again. ("Now question/is every nigga with dreads/for the cause?/Is every nigga with golds for the fall?/Naw. So don't get caught up in appearance...")

Sistas I'm gonna address ya'll directly next...

More after the break...













Sistas, I get it...sometimes your hair is hard to deal with. Its unmanageable when it wants to be. Its stubborn. Its too curly. Its frustrating to work it EXACTLY like you want it to be.

But you want to feel pretty...

I get it.

Sometimes you perm your hair because it really does make you feel pretty. Some of you look better with permed hair than you do with natural hair. Your choice to indulge in the wonders of "creamy crack" is a personal decision.

I get it.

I love sistas with perms too. So I'm not beating up on ya'll. I don't think I've said anything disrespectful to my permed sistas out there.

I don't think I have...

Anyway, I understand that some of you perm your hair without a care as to why people permed their hair in the first place...

Some of you don't care...

This post isn't going to be a lecture on the history of black beauty trends, eurocentric standards of beauty, or even a review of Chris Rock's "Good Hair"...

All I'm saying is...try natural...no really...try it...

I remember when I had locs people would say to me all the time, "I wanna try locking my hair." I'd say, "No you don't, because if you did you wouldn't still have a perm."

Some of them would get offended...Delilah took it as a challenge.

I LITERALLY watched her grow inside as much as I watched her hair grow on the outside. It was like watching her become an entirely new person. The process itself was BEAUTIFUL to watch. She grew stronger, bolder, and more confident with each centimeter of natural hair growth...

Now I'm not saying everybody should run out and shave their heads. I'm not saying that growing out your perm and rejecting Dark N' Lovely is the only way to grow and change. Nor am I saying that letting go of your Eddie Long Lacefront Specials will make you a more beautiful and confident person...

What I am saying is, that the journey of growth and self-confidence that accompanies the shedding of one of the major things that you've been taught as "desirable" for your entire life is a beautiful one.

I've watched some of my favorite people in the world go through the "transformation" and its more and more beautiful each time...

Watching "Tiger" go through her transformation has been amazing...and I'm still loving her growth.

So to all my natural sistas in the world...I love you...I admire you...and I want you to marry me...all at the same time...in Zamunda...with those dancers...and the fat dude singing, "She's your QUEEEEEEEEEEEN TOOOOO BEEEEEEEEEEEE...."

To @ThePrettyMD, know that you have a fan during your growth and journey through the world of "going natural"...

Take it easy folks...

--Bleek G.

World History...

First off...listen to the song...

One thing I pride myself on is being a man...

The tenets of manhood are simple and can usually be broken down by a few simple commandments that are universal and somewhat cliche at this point.

A man is honest.

A man is loyal.

A man is intelligent.

A man is a fighter.

A man is a lover.

A man is a defender of those he loves.

A man does his best to provide for those he is responsible for.

A man respects women.

A man is humble

A man is confident.

A man is fearless.

I'm pretty sure most men will agree with that. "Fearless" is debatable to many...but this post isn't about that.

Have I ever lied? Yes. I'm honest enough with myself and those around me to say that and try to atone for those lies. I'm humble enough to acknowledge the affect that such an action may have had on me and the recipient of that lie. This post isn't about lying though.

Have I ever been less than respectful of women? On occassion. I've said or done some things to compromise my own personal respect for womanhood. I'm man enough to acknowledge that. This post isn't about that either.

This post is about me...as a man...and the things I allow to exist in my life...as a man...

Or the things I won't allow to exist in my life ever again rather...

I'll go more in depth after the break...













I made a decision the other day during one of my random moments of deep thought...well, actually I wasn't just intending to sit and think...Ok, I was on the toilet.

THAT'S NOT THE POINT THOUGH!

The point is, I was thinking about all the people that I miss back home.

I miss my little superstar of course...

I miss "Band Geek" and her way of making me laugh and think at the same time...especially while I've had one too many Bud Lights...

I miss the homie "Runway De Jesus" and the random text messages I send him saying things like "Calling yourself a 'foodie' is the most UNMANLY thing ever in life..."

I miss "Mother Earth" and how she tries to get me to see that writing poetry is one of God's gifts to me...that I'm probably squandering...

I miss "Jergens" and the "The Hoe"...(don't ask...)

Then I started thinking about the little things I miss...like privacy, consistently hot showers, good food, and affection...

Then I realized that I didn't miss any of my exes...

That's a foreign concept to some people. It really is...

Sure, I may miss the laughter, the connection, or the fun times...but do I really miss them on a day to day basis? No.

I think about the ACTUAL relationships I've had in the past 5, 6, or 7 years and I can only think of one person who I can legitimately say I wouldn't mind being in a relationship with again.

The question is, do I miss them though? No.

I guess I just realized something that I learned in my professional/academic life has to spill over to my personal life too...

There is no joy in a step backwards. There can be a lesson learned in looking back, but there is nothing to be gained by stepping backwards.

More after the break...













So, I made the decision to not make any more backwards steps regarding my personal life. When I examined much of my shortcomings in my professional, academic life...they were a direct result of backwards steps in my personal life...

Wow...

Eureka...

(Insert sarcastic exclamatory phrase here)...

As simple as it sounds, many people don't really understand how their actions in their personal lives affect so many other facets of their life...

So, I'm not taking anymore backwards steps. I'm not burning any bridges. I'm not turning a cold shoulder to people I used to know. I'm just choosing to no longer allow some of the negativity in my past affect my present and my future.

One more break so I can explain that...














Dwele is the man...

Anyway, let me tell you a little something about me.

I used to have a Superman complex. It still manifests itself from time to time. I have a huge problem asking for help and I tend to overextend myself at times helping people. I once found myself in a relationship with someone because I pitied them.

I know you're probably looking at the screen like, "WTF? Are you kidding?"

No, I'm not.

There was this one young lady that I met in the most random way. In fact, I offended the CRAP out of her when we first met. (Don't judge me. I'm arrogant...JERKS...)

The more I got to know her though, I realized that she was tragically unloved and uncared for. I was tragically misguided and overly understanding; so what did I do? I took her in like she was a puppy with a broken leg on my door step.

What ensued was the most random next few months of my life.

No really...like really random stuff just started happening...

Like when I went to Walmart and saw a midget get run over by a runaway shopping cart...

THAT WAS A SIGN!

But since I have this thing about not leaving a place worse than how I found it, I stuck around.

I should've had an exit strategy. LOL!

I guess I said all that to say, I ain't looking back anymore.

LOL!

Ya'll take it easy...

--Bleek G.

DeGeneration...

You already know...watch the video...

Let me begin by saying I'm probably the biggest Little Brother/Foreign Exchange fan in the history of the group...

I'm the dude that goes to the concert, stands about 30 feet from the stage, and sings every song...word for word...

Nah, I really did that last Valentine's Day in Cary, NC...Foreign Exchange had a concert there and I sang my ass off nearly the entire concert.

Why? Because its good music...

The question should've been...why not?

Ask yourself this question...

Can you name an artist from the "Hip-Hop/MTV/80s Baby" Generation who has a SOLID catalog of songs that you can dance to, sing to, make love to, ride out to, and think to?

Don't worry...I'll wait...

Seriously though folks. My generation is still listening to and seeking replacements for our Generation X counterparts. We've found our Bill Gates in Mark Zuckerberg...our Bill Clinton in Barack Obama...our Dr. Dre in Kanye West...that's great! I can truly respect that.

However, 20 years from now...when my daughter is riding with me in the BMW and I throw in some of my old music, do I really want to ride around with my 21 year old listening to "Lollipop"...or "Buss It Baby"...Hell naw!

I want my music to have some sort of aesthetic value, some sort of lasting impression, a feeling of....forever. Not just today.

I like Lil' Wayne, Drake, Nicki Menagerie...all of them. I really do, but I don't hear that timeless hip-hop sound in a lot of their music. Some of Wayne's I do. A lot of drake's old stuff (Example: "The Last Hope") has that feel, but I don't really hear it consistently throughout their entire catalog.

I love Kanye, I promise you I do. I think he's in a class by himself. So, I'll give him the thumbs up for my earlier question.

However as I listen to the radio online, via satellite, and over here, all I here is Cocaine rap, trap rap, angry rap, and dancing rap...I don't hear much thought provoking music.

(Here's where I finally get to the point...kinda)

Why is that?

I think its because we've decided to glorify a culture of not knowing (ignorance) rather than embrace all that it means to be young and black in today's American society...

I'll explain more after the break...













Ok...now TELL ME that the cat spittin' that verse, Phonte, wasn't cold. If you say no...believe me, you may be part of the problem.

I just don't understand...

Don't get me wrong, I like Gucci...alot. I listen to Plies on the regular. I'm a Lil' Boosie FAN.

No really...I'm a FAN.

I also understand that there's MUCH MORE to Hip-Hop than what they are offering. Why is it Waka Flocka can garner SO MUCH attention for being less than marginally lyrical on songs like "Oh Let's Do It", "Hard N Da Paint", and "Luh Dem Gun Sounds", but Lupe Fiasco's new joint "The Show Goes On" is struggling for similar spins and notoriety?

I'm seriously not understanding folks...maybe I'm special.

Hip-Hop is supposed to be the voice of America's underprivileged class. Chuck D once called it the CNN of the Ghetto. When hip-hop went "suburban" Tipper Gore, every Midwestern housewife in the country, and Dionne Warwick lost their collective minds. For once kids in the 'burbs were getting an unadulterated picture of what the kids in the bricks saw every day as told by the street poets of our day.

Voices like Tupac, Nas, Raekwon, Outkast, Snoop, Ice Cube, The Notorious B.I.G., and others...

It was a genuinely American art form, much like jazz was, born of abject poverty and shaped in oppression as American as apple pie...

It was our collective voice of authentic blackness...

Now, its our prodigal son.

If I took the top 10 most popular hip-hop songs each year from 2000 to now...you'd probably see a trend.

Outkast's "B.O.B." and Dead Prez's "Its Bigger Than..." were HEAVY in rotation in 2000...

Care to compare the lyricism and subject matter of those tracks to the top ones of today?

Didn't think so...

What's the problem folks?

I'm not saying that hip-hop needs to be flooded with nothing but the Mos Def's, Kweli's, and Sticman's of the world. That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm just saying there needs to be balance.

If hip-hop is the voice of black and brown people all over the country, why doesn't it represent me?

The dude that knows the difference between brown and white work, but also knows the difference between socialism, Marxism, and communism. (Some of ya'll missed that...)

I the brotha that knows how to stretch 6 into 7, but have also had to make a 20 stretch for a week...(Some of ya'll WON'T get that one...)

I'm that cat that wants to 2 step and get my grown man on, just as much as I want to Dougie and Flex.

I'm the dude that knows how to break down a Glock 19 in less than 10 seconds, but I also know how to break down the theory of evolution in less than 4 paragraphs.

I'm the guy that doesn't mind breaking your jaw, but I would much rather hug a female...

I'm sure you get it at this point, right?

I don't see why things have to be so one sided...

Why has my generation embraced things that pander/cater to out lowest common primal instincts? Why do we reject thinking?

More of my bitching after the break...














More dope music from Foreign Exchange...I LOVE IT!

Anyway, maybe I'm thinking about this because as I've grown, I want the artform and the generation that I love so dearly to grow with me. I want to see Waka Flocka put on a suit one day...I'm not saying tomorrow...but one day. I want Lil' Wayne to talk more about the challenges he has in parenting his kids...specifically his daughter...or daughters...well...all of 'em. You know? I want Drake to go on and marry some crazy light skinned woman that he'll have a whirlwind romance with and then make an entire album about....

I guess I'm saying I just want some grown man music from grown people...

Our generation has grown up with a number of different issues that have shaped our world view...

(Here comes the obligatory list...bare with me here)

We saw Tupac killed on the streets of Las Vegas.

We watched Biggie get crucified by the same beef that consumed Pac's life...and hip hop as a whole.

We watched Kings rise from gutters and project hallways to manifest themselves in the form of Jay-Z and Puff.

We saw "Brenda" from Brenda's Got A Baby every day in our high schools...and some of our middle schools.

We watched the AIDS epidemic unfold as TLC educated us about safe sex.

We saw the south rise from the ashes of Jim Crow, being carried by 2 Dope Boyz in a Cadillac.

We saw the world introduced to Country Grammar through some St. Lunatics.

We saw a black man become the best golfer in the game.

Then we saw a white boy from Detroit, of all places, turn around and become the best rapper in the game at one point.

We saw the towers fall...

Then we saw our friends fall...in the desert...and in our own city streets...

So, believe me, I understand our desire to completely tune out the world and just dance.

Our parents, and some of our grandparents, used to say, "Free your mind and your ass will follow!"

What they didn't tell us to do is "Turn on...tune in...and cop out..."

So why has our music?

Is THIS...THIS MUSIC THAT WE HAVE RIGHT NOW, ON THIS EARTH, ON THIS DAY, BLARING IN YOUR SUV/IPOD/CLUB SPEAKERS what you want to leave your children?

Is this your aesthetic legacy?

I don't know about you...but it won't be mine...

Peace

--Bleek G.

The Girl of My Dreams...

First of all....listen to the song...

Secondly, if you haven't noticed...I'm a pretty big J. Cole fan...

Now on with the post...

So, I've been having these dreams lately. Nothing awful or horrible, just maybe my overactive imagination running circles around my logical side...

(*Turns sarcasm on* And I'm sure it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I'm in Iraq...away from any semblance of an attractive woman...*turns sarcasm off*)

The last 2 nights, I've had the dream that I've been on a college campus. I think its an HBCU because there's not too many Caucasian people walking around. I've got my video camera with me in my backpack and I'm talking to this gorgeous chocolate sista that I've never seen before.

We're discussing journalism, my ambitions, her ambitions, my upcoming video projects, and all sorts of things as we traverse this beautiful campus. She's introducing me to people along the way. Friendly professors, classmates, and administrators. Apparently we're both grad students...

Flash Forward...

We're in a car together talking about how much we both enjoy exciting, borderline dangerous things...

She's driving, we're laughing, and I'm holding on to the handle on the roof of the car. She says, "You wanna see something cool?" I'm like, "Sure, what's up?" She steps on the gas and the SUV we're riding in takes off down this nearly deserted city street. We're weaving through traffic doing about 90 and suddenly she makes a hard left, skidding to the middle of an intersection and shoots down a different street, she makes a hard right into a parking deck and steps on the gas. She slams on the brakes again, whipping the wheel to the left and steering the car into a 180 degree half spin into a parking space.

She says, "We're here," and gets out of the car.

Ok...I know it sounds crazy, but that was kinda sexy to me. It was something I would do just for the rush of it. Maybe not on a city street, but definitely something I would consider.

Lemme tell you more about this woman in my dream though.

She's about 5'2", shoulder length black hair, beautiful skin, the brightest smile ever in life (I'm a sucker for a pretty smile), and she uses words with more than 2 syllables.

I swooned immediately.

Granted, I've met ALOT of sistas like that. A LOT. The thing is though, I've never met anyone who was GENUINELY interested in the same things as me. It was weird.

It was just a dream though...

Back to reality after the break...














You ever felt like you met somebody at the wrong time? Like, you found yourself liking somebody and the feeling was mutual, but your timing or their timing absolutely sucked?

Like you were just coming out of a really stupid breakup or you were just trying to work on you or [insert overused cliche/excuse for shutting out people here]?

Seriously, have you ever felt that way?

I know I have.

Its like you're in your own little zone, worrying about the IMPORTANT things in your life. Not the drama that people bring to you. Not the dumb stuff you deal with at work on the daily. None of that. Your focus is strong and you're doing all you can to stay focused on your goals.

Then they come along...

Somebody that randomly pops into your life that makes you laugh, smile, and think all at the same time.

All that...

You guys may be the most odd combination since peanut butter and catfish, but you have fun with and understand each other and that's all that matters.

Naw, I ain't in that situation at this immediate moment...but its nice to reminisce right? I'm not worried about matters of the heart. I'm worried about making it back in one piece...

Ok...that's enough...

I've been waaaaay too mushy on this post already...

Less mushiness after the break...















I love that song...

I was tweeting yesterday and somebody I follow asked this question, "What is it about curves on a woman that drives men nuts?"

I responded, "curves imply softness, softness equates to desirable as well as raw femininity. We like that....alot."

Its more than just curves though. Men love women for their curves true enough, but the curve itself is...more.

Ok...let me put it like this, men look at women the same way they look at cars...

Ok, I just offended half the female population and 87% of diehard feminists.

NO, I'm NOT saying we see women as property. Pull your head out of your 5th point of contact...

We look at cars that we like because of what their design implies.

Men don't like Bugatti's because they're just the most convenient car ever. Men like them because they have a certain power, they look fun, they're eye catching...the same way some of us are attracted to women that are powerful, fun, and eye catching. The curves on a Bugatti are there not only to serve an aerodynamic purpose, but to attract the attention of anybody within a million foot radius.

When men see a woman who's curves are divine and well accentuated, we see that as a woman who's confident enough, beautiful enough, and powerful enough to attract all the attention in the room. We're attracted to that. We covet that...

And ladies its not about being a size 2 or 4...its about how comfortable you are with those curves. A larger woman with confidence can beat out that smaller sista on any given day...

Remember that...

Its all about the confidence...

One more break...
















I threw this video in because a) I love Outkast and b) I can relate to every verse on the song...

For all of the misogyny that permeates hip-hop, I'll say that on occasion its not about disrespecting women. Sometimes its simply a trip into the male mind. Granted, certain songs are downright disre-damn-spectful to sistas, but others are just brothas opening up their brain for all to check out...

Lets take these three verses...

Big Boi's verse could be considered chauvinistic by many...and it is to a degree, but if you examine Suzy Screw, he actually sees her as more respectable than some of the females that are portrayed in other rap songs. Is it the lesser of two evils? Yeah. Is it still misogynistic? Probably. Do I care? Not really. Why? Because we all know a sista like Suzy Screw. The female who doesn't mind chasing a brotha with status to get her physical "needs" met. Whether it be sex, money, or self esteem. She's too good for "parks, backseats, or things of that nature." Yet, she doesn't mind going out and "getting hers." Some see it as sexual empowerment others see it as something less than noble. I'd rather let the "Suzy Screws" of the world live their lives and not worry about it...

Apathetic, I know...

Andre 3000's verse is one of the all-time greatest verses in hip-hop as far as I'm concerned. It provides a sensitive contrast to Big Boi's male bravado. Showing that MCs have hearts. Brothas can be sensitive..."Sasha Thumper" could've been his first love, childhood best friend, or even a female family member...that's what makes it so powerful for most men. We can put somebody in "Sasha Thumper's" place...

I'll stop there before I write a thesis...

Then there's Slick Rick The Ruler and his verse. I can relate to this verse on so many levels its not even funny. Anyone that knows me very well, understands that I've been with some highly intelligent and pretty crazy women in my day. Like forreal. Which is weird because my best relationships, be they platonic or romantic, tend to be with very level headed, even keeled women. I'm a fairly level headed, even keeled guy myself so that makes sense.

Herein lies the rub. I've been accused more often than not of being unemotional. As I've said before, that's far from the truth. I just don't let a lot of stuff phase me. Now, women who are crazy tend to be very passionate. They push your buttons to evoke responses and emotions that you thought were locked deep away for no one to see. It becomes a narcotic of sorts. You think to yourself, if this woman can pull this kind of reaction and response from me then it must be something real. One day you wake up and you're the happiest unhappy person on the planet and you're like, "Wait a minute! This isn't normal!" None the less, you've gotten attached, hooked even, to the emotionality that this woman causes you to experience...

Weird huh...

Maybe one day I'll delve into the story of my relationship with "Melrose Place" but that's not a post for today...

Ok...that's it for now...

Be easy ya'll...

--Bleek G.

Rambling Post #684987465165

First off...watch the video

Got some news yesterday that I didn't really enjoy too much. I would share it with you but I haven't quite fully processed it yet. Just know that it rocked me to the very foundation of who I am...

In fact...

It completely shattered a small part of the little bit of emotionality I have left. Yeah, I know I'm really honest and open on this here blog, but I'm really not an emotional dude...anymore.

No, I'm not gonna cry and throw a fit. I'm not gonna sit around writing sad poems and remixing hip-hop songs to fit my situation. (Yes, I actually did that once...the writing sad poems and remixing hip-hop songs...don't judge me.) Honestly, I'm probably going to have my moment to process it and move on.

I guess in the past 6 months, the Producer/Director in the sky has just been showing me where to go. This is a part of it. So who am I to get mad at Him or anyone else?

I'm still human though...and the natural response of any human is to attack the source of pain. That's how primitive we are. No really, it is...think about it.

When we break up with somebody, the first thing we do is badmouth them. We have ALL the negative things in the world to say about them. 2 weeks before though, we were gushing about how great they were. On facebook posting statuses and quotes about how in love we are. (*VOMIT* *Wipes mouth* I hate when people do that...) Telling all our friends, "This one may be The One"

The MOMENT that person says, "Maybe we should just be friends," it turns into World War III in your heart and mind. Well...at least for most people it does. I just kinda suck it up, get over it, and move on.

I digress though...

I guess what upset me most is what the sample in the very beginning of the song talks about. "Picture all the possibilities..." I had done that. For a LONG time. Probably to my own detriment.

Oh well....Cest La Vie...

More after the break...















I miss Tupac...

Hate this video...

But I miss Tupac...

Anyway, let me tell you a few things about me. I've never been a thug. Couldn't be CLOSE to being considered one. I'm no gangsta, but as Cornel West once said, "I DO have gangsta proclivities."

I've participated in a hustle or two...or three. I've been in more fights than I care to remember. I've been in possession of a weapon or two for my personal protection. Consider it a part of growing up more so than a statement of character though.

I've always been tough when it came down to it. I've always been able to take a few blows physically, mentally, and emotionally. I've also been able to dish them out.

One thing about me though, I used to be a "Sucka for love..." much like this song says. Its weird. I was like the proverbial "Hooker With A Heart Of Gold." There goes that contradiction in terms again...don't judge me.

Forreal though. I used to always be in the company of more than my fair share of women. I was always focused on having "options"...

The only thing was though, I was always looking for some sort of connection at the same time. Its really weird. Then again, I'm a weird dude. I looked at it the same way some women look at shopping...

Come on, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about...

I'm sure most of the fellas know what I'm talking about, if they've ever been shopping with their lady before.

A female will go to 12 different stores and look at 20 different pairs of shoes before deciding on ONE pair.

Well, I'm the same way when it comes to companionship. I'm picky...as hell...as I should be.

Is that wrong?

I don't think so.

If you do, you may need to reevaluate your life.

Seriously, I know some women more picky about their shoes than they are about the men in their life.

OH, the same goes for brothas too!

But I digress...

I guess it was always a matter of finding someone that "Fit"

Life's too short to be uncomfortable. I'm just sayin...

More after the break...















Who knew that a Canadian brotha could have THAT much soul?

Also, I found myself being mad at the actress in this video. Why?

She was the same one that played the love interest in Glenn Lewis' video "Don't You Forget It."

I was like, "Man he went through all this crap and you messed around and cheated on him with Baraka from Mortal Kombat? WhereDeyDoDatAt?"

She still fine though...

Anyway, whether this song is based on a true story or not, it gave me a lot of respect for Glenn Lewis. To be this honest and soul baring on a track takes a lot for a man.

Primarily because we're taught to not be emotional. We're taught to lock our emotions away and keep them hidden except under extreme circumstances. (The death of certain people in our lives, situations involving our children, etc.)

My question is though? Why?

I'm serious.

My homie "Tenacious P" said, "Ohh Lawd I can't stand a man that don't know how to communicate. Ooh that makes me SICK!"

I'm thinking to myself, "Well, you want a man to tell you how he feels, right? But you don't really want a man that's in touch with his feelings because then he's a punk, right? So its a catch-22."

I am completely unable to convey to you exactly what's in my heart, because hell...I'm not even sure how I feel. Why? Because I've been taught to lock away my emotions! What the hell man!?!?!?!? That's confusing!

That's like sitting next to a blind man trying to describe a Picasso painting. You know how DIFFICULT that is? Hell, I can see and I can't even describe a Picasso painting half the time! That's ridiculous!

Ask 10 men who are in touch with their sense of manhood how in touch they are with their proverbial feelings and they'll probably tell you, "I'm not very in touch with them."

Why?

Because the BUCK STOPS WITH US alot of times. We don't have anyone to turn to, a shoulder to cry on. We're protector, provider, and burden bearer. Wifey comes to us with problems, sons and daughters come to us with problems, sometimes our parents come to us with problems. Our job is not to go to someone else with them! Our job is to stand up, suck it up, and FIND A WAY. Provide and protect.

That's why we do man shit....like cuss, drink beer, fix stuff, and kill shit. Its a release.

You ever seen a man damn near lose his mind when someone interrupts him during his "Man Time?" That's because its his way of acknowledging his feelings! Forreal!

When Alabama loses, I'm completely unable to discuss the Alabama loss logically for at LEAST 36 hours afterwards. If you come to me with something crazy, you are liable to get your feelings hurt. Why? Because I'm emotional! (Shocking, I know.) And when I'm emotional who do I attack when I feel threatened? Refer to the first section of this entry. Yeah...

Anyway, I guess I said all that to say...hell, I don't know what I was trying to say. I just needed to get all this off my chest and out of my head...

Don't judge me...

Listen to this song and have a nice day...

Peace

--Bleek G.

Dreams...(An Aspiring Good Dad's Guide)

First off, watch the video...

I remember being a kid and my teachers, parents, and everybody else telling me, "You can be whatever you want to be."

That's crap.

Not because I don't think without hard work and dedication I can't achieve certain goals, but I don't think that we should mislead people like that. That's why there are so many crazy adults now! They're still thinking they can be anything they want to be.

Sir, you are 32 years old and work for the Federal Government...you are NOT a rapper. You have never "sold pies" except and the Greater Mt. Mariah Baptist Church bake sale. SITCHOASSDOWN somewhere...

Seriously though. I remember having one moment of delusion during my sophomore year of college. I only told like 3 people this but, I wanted to be the President of The United States.

Stop laughing...

No really...stop.

Anyway, I figured I'd get my grades up, transfer to an Ivy League School and go to an Ivy League law school. Then I could be president. Right?

Well, there's a lot more to college than simply grades. Right?

Its not that I didn't have the intelligence. My IQ and test scores will tell you that.

Its not that I didn't have the will or ability to persevere. After some of the stuff that I've been through, both self imposed and stuff I've taken off other people, I'm POSITIVE I have that.

There was another element. FINANCES.

Its kinda hard to study when you're working 3 jobs, taking 15 hours, and your folks back home are absolutely no help. (Had I known up front that I was going to be handling it all on my own I could've planned better...but that's a post for another day.)

This post isn't about finances though, its about dreams.

I have always had a dream. From day one. I knew where I wanted to be, but I didn't necessarily know how to get there. As I've gotten older, I'm learning more and more about what I need to do to make that happen.

So, I implore you people...tell your kids the truth. If your child is dumb as a mesh condom. Don't tell them they can be a doctor or a lawyer. If your child is as useless as a bag of wet hammers, stop telling them to be firemen or police officers.

I don't want your simple ass child performing CPR on me if I can't breathe! They'll mess around and be pushing my face and breathing into my chest. Stop unleashing your dumbass kids on the world!

I'm just playing....kinda.

Raise your kids responsibly, tell them the truth, and if they have a dream PUSH them. Don't be overbearing because you'll push them away from it. Challenge them, aid them, believe in them. Don't tell them what they CAN'T do. NEVER tell them that. Tell them what they should be focusing on though. Do it from LOVE, not from a place of disdain, disgust, or even chastisement.

Show them FEARLESSNESS...no one EVER achieved their dream by being timid or afraid. And if you're scared for them, never let them see it. Instead, encourage them. Just like you do when they're learning to ride a bike; run beside them, keep that hand on the seat, take the hand off when they get up to speed, but keep a watchful eye out for their fall. When they do fall (and they WILL fall), help them up. Put them back on the bike and let them ride again...

I know some of you feel me, right?

More after the break...















One day my daughter will come to me and say, "Daddy can I be an astronaut?"

I'll look her in her beautiful eyes and say, "Baby if you want to, I'll help you find the way."

Maybe one day she'll say, "Daddy, I wanna be a lawyer."

So, I'll take her to my boy "Esquire" and say, "Hey man, my little superstar wants to grow up to be just like you..."

He'll probably laugh, and then we'll talk to her about being a lawyer.

If the day should ever come that my daughter should say, "Daddy, I want to grow up to be a model."

I'll probably take her by the hand....and BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF HER! Then give her a book to read and tell her, "This ain't Paris! You betta model some damn homework! Model a math problem or som'n. SITCHOASSDOWN!"

Nah, I'm just playin'...kinda.

I'd take her to a reputable photographer and make sure she's in something that makes her feel pretty, then I'd let her decide if its something she wants to pursue.

My job is just to put it out there for her and guide her in the right direction.

There are too many adults in my generation who had to raise themselves in one way or another. It may not have necessarily been physically (food, shelter, clothing) but more often than not it was emotionally and intellectually.

There are men and women out there who are emotionally scarred by their upbringing. They were neglected in one way or another and are attempting far into their adulthood to fill that emotional void. Or they find themselves devoid of emotion altogether...like me most of the time.

Then there are those searching for something to believe in something to hold on to as their morsel of truth in a world starving for knowledge. More often than not they weren't encouraged to seek the truth for themselves or even in themselves. So they seek it in other people. They latch on to things and people that make them feel comfortable or desired...

My goal is to ensure that my daughter wants for NOTHING be it physically, emotionally, spiritually, or intellectually.

I want her to be strong enough to play a sport, entertain the masses, be popular, AND read a book...because far too often one of those is left out of the equation during our adolescence...

More after the break...













"Child heard it playin/asked if I was talkin' bout her/the bad thing is she really wasn't sure/if she was a ho or a queen/and I'm really not sure/ if I'm a nigga or a king..."

--David Banner on "No Denyin" from the new albumDeath of A Pop Star

First off, that album is SERIOUS.

Secondly, that quote there made me think something serious regarding my relationship with my daughter and the realization of her dreams.

I pray that her seeing my struggle with a duality of consciousness causes her to pick a side of righteousness.

In laymans terms now...

I pray that my little superstar looks at me and acknowledges "nigga" side of me and the "king" side of me (to take from the David Banner quote) and choose the right side to emulate. That being the "King" side...

Just a lil' something I'm throwing out there....

Here's an observation that I've made...

Far too often I've run into female peers and colleagues who've been "thrown to the wolves" regarding their personal issues and matters of the heart. Its often caused them to get side tracked and devalue themselves. They end up putting their dreams on the backburner. They're goals morph based on their current situation versus what they really want.

Here's one example of many.

I know a young lady that's amazingly gifted. The things that she creates with her words and hands are absolutely AMAZING. She's a talented writer, poet, photographer, and painter. When I met her, she had a dream to be a photographer. Traveling the world, taking in all the beauty that this Earth has to offer. Then she met a man...not even a decent one...she found herself sidetracked. She put her dreams on the backburner because she wanted to be close to him.

Some of you are probably like, "Naw, she just grew up and got a more realistic dream." What's so unrealistic about being a photographer?

Some of you are like, "Well, at least she found love." Love and comfort are TWO VASTLY DIFFERENT THINGS.

This is why I say that. If I love you, I'm going to support your dream. If you want to fly to the damn moon, I'll help you build the rocket! If you want to open a store selling nothing but pampers, I'll be a diaper stocking ASS. I would hope that you would do the same.

Here's what I want to teach my daughter...

I'll sit her down and say, "Love, people change. Friendships begin and end. People come in and go out of your life. A dream though...that one intangible thing that lives inside us and is our motivating force is something that can NEVER be taken away. It can only be GIVEN away. NEVER give away your dream. It may seem convenient. It may even seem right in order for you to be happy. What happens though 30 years from now when you wake up to a nearly empty home and that dream resurfaces? Will it drive you as fiercely as it does now dear? Or will it cause you to wither and die? I don't know love...I don't know."

Hey, what do I know though?

I'm just an average guy with a dream, a goal, and the tools to get there.

Ask yourself though, are you living your dream?

If you have kids...are you helping them achieve theirs?

If the answer to either question is "No" then you've GOT to do something about it...

--Bleek G.

Friends...How Many Of US Have Them?

First off....listen to the song. No really, listen to it.

Ok...

So, I was thinking the other day about my life.

You know, another one of those moments of self evaluation and reflection that people think makes you "deep."

And I can honestly say that I probably have some of the best friends in LIFE. I'm VERY protective of my friends. VERY protective. Most of the folks I consider friends have completely transcended the title. They're actually more like family now. For example I've known my boy "Runway de Jesus" (don't ask...) now for like 16 years. My boy "6 Names" has been down with me for 20+ years. "Bad Ass Yella Boy" has been down for like 13 now. "Father of The Year" has been down for 11.

If I was a rapper, I'd have a serious ass entourage. We'd take the stage and be a whole slew of educated brothas and sistas in suits and business attire. Plus we'd have our big chains, tattoos, and handguns courtesy of our Def Jam/Universal Rapper's Starter Kit...but I digress.

Seriously, check the people around you. If you're not surrounded by people that you have a mutual sense of admiration and respect for, then you're not really around friends.

Look at it like this.

My personal definition of love is "When someone else's needs meet or exceed your own."

If my boy "6 Names" calls me tomorrow and says, "Bruh, I'm tapped out until the 15th. I don't know how I'm gonna eat or keep these lights on." If I got it, he's got it. If I don't have it, we're going to figure out a way TOGETHER to get it.

I know me and "Runway de Jesus" have spent MUCH time together trying to come up with a solution to alot of my problems...everything from finances to women. Mostly women because they tend to cause me ALOT of problems. Don't judge me...

So, if you have no one to lean on, talk to, or help you through life...that's a pretty sad existence. I can understand keeping to yourself. I'm an extrovert that keeps to himself. I know its a contradiction in terms but who cares. I understand being a loner. I'm a loner. I'm alone 90% of my life and I often go places alone. So I understand not being "sociable"...

However, I also know that there has NEVER been a great man in the history of this Earth that has gotten there a) alone and b) without a great deal of support. Even if it was just ONE person. Who knows, that ONE friend may be Atlas and can support the weight of your ENTIRE WORLD...even when you're too weak to....think about it...

More after the break...



How much you wanna bet that Chilli had her baby hair sideburns under all that hair?

Anyway, back to friends...

Here's a question you have to ask yourself...how honest are you with your friends? No really...

The knee jerk response just MAY be the wrong one. For example, say you and somebody are going through a break up. Do you tell your friends what YOU'VE done to contribute to the breakup? Maybe you lied about something...maybe you were unfaithful...anything. Do you tell them that? I'm willing to bet a lot of us don't.

I know with certain people its always gonna be about what the OTHER person did. So I make it a point to ask, "What did you do?"

My true friends know most of the messed up stuff I've done and a lot of the good things I've done too. They know that I have a huge heart and a VERY ugly temper. Its a good thing I don't get mad very often. They know that if they are down...I'm there for them. When they're up, I'm there for them. When they're wrong, I let them know. Often harshly. When they're right, I support them wholeheartedly.

One thing about it is, that they tell me I'm wrong too. Its got to go both ways.

My friends tell me all the time. "You know you F%$&ed up right?"....

No forreal, that's how they let me know I'm wrong.

Truth be told though, I'd rather have you tell me the truth to my face than have me delusional/misinformed about everything.

Its really easy to support your boys when you think they've been done wrong. Its tougher to tell them man to man though, "Hey, you're wrong and you need to make this right..."

Be back with a story of friendship and when keepin' it gangsta goes wrong after the break...



Ok, so me and Runway de Jesus have been down for a long time. Every time he's gotten into an altercation or come close to one, I've been there to be the ignant angel on his shoulder saying "Slap him. Slap him. I bet you won't slap him. Slap him." Well, here's one situation that was downright ignant at the time and kinda funny afterwards.

So its me, Runway de Jesus, J., J's girlfriend, and another female companion. We're out chilling. We just left dinner at a pretty good restaurant and Runway and I had more alcohol in us than the Surgeon General would suggest.

We decide to go to a nearby club and do some dancing and more likka consuming. As we're walking to the club, J's girlfriend's ex (way too convoluted connection, right?) starts trying to converse with J's girlfriend. Not like, "Hey, how you doin? How ya been?" More like, "Why you wit this chump? Come get with me baby." kind of converse.

I was completely unaware of the situation at first because I'd just seen two of my boys from my umm....we'll call them "hustlin'" days and one of my fraternity brothers. So I'm on the sidewalk talking to them and cracking on people. I look back at my people and J. is talking to some dude in a linen pants set with some ashy dress shoes. They look like they're having one of those fierce whispering grown men conversations that happen when smart brothas wanna fight but don't want everybody to know it.

So, I point this out to my peoples and say, "That looks interesting right there. Somethin' is about to pop off." My Napoleon Complex takes over and I'm ready to fight IMMEDIATELY. I'm just waiting for the scene to unfold.

Runway de Jesus, on the other hand, is more of a peaceful brotha. He goes over and steps in front of J. and tries to be the peacemaker. Now I'm REALLY amped up. If you lay a FINGER on one of my friends, I go completely blank and try to put you in the hospital.

Runway is being really calm and nice. I look away for a second because a young lady in what appears to be a kneepad stretched into a dress of some sort walks by and distracts me. When I look back up, Runway is HEATED beyond belief. I'm excited and ready to throw hands at this point. So me and my folks, who also like to fight, walk over there.

I'm standing behind runway and I'm saying in a low tone but loud enough for everyone in the vicinity to hear me, "I want you to hit him. Please hit him. I dare you to. I DARE you to."

Runway is amped, he says, "Bruh, I will f&*$ you UP out here! Who the f&%$ are you talkin' to?!?!?!"

I'm SOOOO excited now, I'm almost ready to jump over and slap the dude with the linen outfit on myself. THEN...it happens.

Runway, who's never been the most gangsta dude on Earth, says the most awkward thing I've ever heard come out of an angry man's mouth.

Runway say, "N!&&@ don't you know I'll RAPE you out here in front of everybody?!?!?!"

SCHKUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRK

*Pause*

Wait a minute... huh?

Did he just?

Nah...

Yeah...he said it.

Me and my folks stood there...mouths open...stunned...completely awestruck.

One of my folks said, "Nah bruh, I can't ride wit you on that one."

Well Mr. Man of Fashion Linen Set must've believed him, because the entire convo ended right there...

I grabbed Runway's arm and started pulling him back down the sidewalk towards another club...

I told him, "Look bruh...I'm gon' ride with you regardless...but you really can't be threatening to rape people in public...especially not dudes...."

Runway looks at me and says, "Man F%$# that dude...that $#!t was kinda messed up though huh?"

We both laughed...

As the Omegas say, "Friendship is essential to the soul..."

Til' Next Time...

--Bleek G.