World History...

First off...listen to the song...

One thing I pride myself on is being a man...

The tenets of manhood are simple and can usually be broken down by a few simple commandments that are universal and somewhat cliche at this point.

A man is honest.

A man is loyal.

A man is intelligent.

A man is a fighter.

A man is a lover.

A man is a defender of those he loves.

A man does his best to provide for those he is responsible for.

A man respects women.

A man is humble

A man is confident.

A man is fearless.

I'm pretty sure most men will agree with that. "Fearless" is debatable to many...but this post isn't about that.

Have I ever lied? Yes. I'm honest enough with myself and those around me to say that and try to atone for those lies. I'm humble enough to acknowledge the affect that such an action may have had on me and the recipient of that lie. This post isn't about lying though.

Have I ever been less than respectful of women? On occassion. I've said or done some things to compromise my own personal respect for womanhood. I'm man enough to acknowledge that. This post isn't about that either.

This post is about me...as a man...and the things I allow to exist in my life...as a man...

Or the things I won't allow to exist in my life ever again rather...

I'll go more in depth after the break...













I made a decision the other day during one of my random moments of deep thought...well, actually I wasn't just intending to sit and think...Ok, I was on the toilet.

THAT'S NOT THE POINT THOUGH!

The point is, I was thinking about all the people that I miss back home.

I miss my little superstar of course...

I miss "Band Geek" and her way of making me laugh and think at the same time...especially while I've had one too many Bud Lights...

I miss the homie "Runway De Jesus" and the random text messages I send him saying things like "Calling yourself a 'foodie' is the most UNMANLY thing ever in life..."

I miss "Mother Earth" and how she tries to get me to see that writing poetry is one of God's gifts to me...that I'm probably squandering...

I miss "Jergens" and the "The Hoe"...(don't ask...)

Then I started thinking about the little things I miss...like privacy, consistently hot showers, good food, and affection...

Then I realized that I didn't miss any of my exes...

That's a foreign concept to some people. It really is...

Sure, I may miss the laughter, the connection, or the fun times...but do I really miss them on a day to day basis? No.

I think about the ACTUAL relationships I've had in the past 5, 6, or 7 years and I can only think of one person who I can legitimately say I wouldn't mind being in a relationship with again.

The question is, do I miss them though? No.

I guess I just realized something that I learned in my professional/academic life has to spill over to my personal life too...

There is no joy in a step backwards. There can be a lesson learned in looking back, but there is nothing to be gained by stepping backwards.

More after the break...













So, I made the decision to not make any more backwards steps regarding my personal life. When I examined much of my shortcomings in my professional, academic life...they were a direct result of backwards steps in my personal life...

Wow...

Eureka...

(Insert sarcastic exclamatory phrase here)...

As simple as it sounds, many people don't really understand how their actions in their personal lives affect so many other facets of their life...

So, I'm not taking anymore backwards steps. I'm not burning any bridges. I'm not turning a cold shoulder to people I used to know. I'm just choosing to no longer allow some of the negativity in my past affect my present and my future.

One more break so I can explain that...














Dwele is the man...

Anyway, let me tell you a little something about me.

I used to have a Superman complex. It still manifests itself from time to time. I have a huge problem asking for help and I tend to overextend myself at times helping people. I once found myself in a relationship with someone because I pitied them.

I know you're probably looking at the screen like, "WTF? Are you kidding?"

No, I'm not.

There was this one young lady that I met in the most random way. In fact, I offended the CRAP out of her when we first met. (Don't judge me. I'm arrogant...JERKS...)

The more I got to know her though, I realized that she was tragically unloved and uncared for. I was tragically misguided and overly understanding; so what did I do? I took her in like she was a puppy with a broken leg on my door step.

What ensued was the most random next few months of my life.

No really...like really random stuff just started happening...

Like when I went to Walmart and saw a midget get run over by a runaway shopping cart...

THAT WAS A SIGN!

But since I have this thing about not leaving a place worse than how I found it, I stuck around.

I should've had an exit strategy. LOL!

I guess I said all that to say, I ain't looking back anymore.

LOL!

Ya'll take it easy...

--Bleek G.