Gettin' Grown...

Ok...you already know what I'm gonna say by now...watch the video...

Ok...

I don't know if its a matter of me being southern, educated, or goal oriented but everyone around me seems like they are in such a rush to "be grown"...

Why?

You have LITERALLY, the rest of your life to pay bills, bitch about office politics, and be as unhappy as your parents are so why would you rush to get there?

I know a female who LITERALLY broke out in hives because she realized that she was 25 and had no hope of being married in the next 2 years. HIVES! The chick broke out in H-I-V-E-S!!!! Who does that? That's completely and utterly insane!

I really don't understand what the deal is with that.

I remember in college I would go to "grown and sexy" parties at my wonderful Alma Mater (ROLL TIDE!!!) and watch all the grown folks stand around and stare at each other. I never understood that. I still don't understand why people go to the club and stand on the DANCE floor. That's crazy to me.

That's why I was always at other schools. I absolutely fell in LOVE with Tuskegee, Alabama A&M, Alabama State, and other HBCUs because people actually DANCED. I remember one year Runway de Jesus and I went to Tennessee State for homecoming and acted a damn FOOL on the dance floor...wearing suits. People asked us did we go there, and when we told them no they smiled and told us to keep partying.

(Side Note: I'll probably never go back to TSU for homecoming or otherwise unless I have a helmet, a bullet proof vest, and an entourage...don't ask. LOL!)

I LOVED the atmosphere of grown people having a good time minus the weight of the world or an air of pretentiousness.

Why do some of us automatically equate adulthood with this oppressive sense of fun "inside the box?"

More after the break...













You wanna know something that freaks me out? Seriously...

When I'm holding a conversation with a female and I say something like, "Where do you see yourself 2, 3 years from now?"

Now, if I'm interested in them, I'm looking to hear something dealing with a career, goals to be met, expectations to fulfill, etc. You know, something regarding going for their dreams.

More often than not though I'll hear, "I look to be married with (insert number of kids here)" and then maybe an afterthought of what they want to attain in life...

I don't understand that....at all....

Success is not what happens while you're waiting on a spouse...

Success is something that you (and possibly a significant other) should be working towards (maybe even COLLECTIVELY)...

So whats the rush to find someone? Why is companionship apparently more desirable than stability? I speak of stability in the physical AS WELL AS the mental and emotional sense.

Is that a part of being grown? Really?

I find it weird that we applaud those who go after their dreams relentlessly. We admire their determination, drive, and success...and then sell ourselves short. Do we suffer from a narrowed focus THAT much?

I know I've been knocked off my path more than once. I've been sidetracked more than I care to recall. However, I eventually come "back to the middle" and continue on towards that goal which seemed so elusive not too long ago.

So, why is it that so many of us (men AND women) are willing to give up on our dreams and settle for less than what we desire because we feel like a mate is what we need as proof of our "growing up"...or even as though its something we're "supposed to have" by a certain age...

NEWSFLASH! A spouse does NOT come in like wisdom teeth people!

I just don't get that...

More after the break...













Don't get me wrong...I'm NOT anti-marriage...

I'm also not anti-"growing up"...

All I'm saying is, forever is a long time...and youth is so limited...so why not enjoy it while we have it.

Sure, I'd like to find somebody to spend my forever with. That would be absolutely awesome...

At one point in my life, I thought I'd found someone to spend forever with...but like the commercial says, "Life comes at you fast..."

I'll be there again one day, I'm just not looking to wife up the next person with more than half a brain and a pretty smile...

I still remember what one of my drill sergeants told us in basic training, and I've seen it proven time and again in the Army and in life...

"Slow is smooth, smooth is fast..."

and

"Go alone, go fast. Go together, go far..."

So why not take your life slow...don't be in such a rush to "grow up" or "be grown"...enjoy the little bit of youth you have left.

And if you're alone, focusing on making yourself better. Focusing on being the type of person you'd want to be with. When the time is right, you'll look back on your time alone and realize it really wasn't that long...at least not compared to forever...

Take it easy people....

--Bleek G.